They’re either smother-them-with-kisses hot or kick-them-on-the-nuts annoying. Seriously, how much trouble are these men?
INSIDE: 101 WAYS TO CUT A D*CK
What is the best way to get back at your two-timing boyfriend without going to jail? Denise discovers this and more as she goes on a short road trip with her reluctant (alright, forced!) sidekick, Gabriel. Will she succeed in her mission or end up throttling her quietly disapproving partner-in-crime?
After a few miles, the car stops at the side of a road. Gabriel leans toward me, scowling, his jaw tense. “Get a grip, Deni. Neil’s not worth it.”
“No…no…not…,” I mumble, my hand still covering my mouth.
I want to tell him that’s the least of my concern at this very moment because I already kinda expected to catch Neil cheating on me even before I stalked him. And after what I witnessed, I now accept there’s no future with him. Even an act of nature cannot make me want Neil back again!
No. My biggest concern now is not to puke inside Gabriel’s car. Seeing Neil torridly kissing and basically finger-f***ing a seventy-two-year-oldwrinkled woman, even if it’s his boss, can do that to anyone, don’t you think?
Gabriel snaps at me, misunderstanding my garbled words. “Will you please stop fooling yourself? How dense can you be? You still want a relationship with that sorry piece of shit? You’re wasting your time with him! And that includes thinking of ways to cut off his dick to get back at him!”
I knew it! J-Oh couldn’t resist telling him about my dick-cutting daydreams. I’ll strangle Joyce later. But for now, Gabriel’s mockery hits me hard. My blood boils. My lips curl.
Somehow, I manage to find my voice, snapping back at him indignantly, “And what do you know about relationships? Yeah, right. Coming from someone who has not had a girlfriend in all his twenty-five years on Earth.”
“I already have a girlfriend. She just forgot. I’m waiting for her to come to her senses.”